Fickle Friend (Frenemies)

"frenemies" is a popular "title" to the particular people who is a friend but in the same time backstabbing one from behind. Moreover, this kind of people also known as ambivalent friends which describing complicated rapport about someone that could bring you up or bring you down by certain reasons. They are such well-meaning friends who overly competitive, the supporters when you really in need but cannot quite take pleasure in your successes and last but not least, a buddy who willingly wanted to help you but at the same time talking behind you after that. Thus, in this troublesome situation, qualities such as warmth and understanding go hand-in-hand with condemnation, elimination and envy.




Well, nobody perfect but, “frenemies” are consistently problematic and imperfect. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a psychologist from Brigham Young University stated that “Once you have develop ambivalent feelings for a person, later on your future interactions with that person may be judged through that lens too”. Likewise, we are able to think of our supporters’ comment rather than these ambivalent friends. In fact, family also has a tendency to become ambivalent people than acquaintances. However, this kind of family would give you more support and warmth that you cannot afford to give up even though it is hard to swap the troublesome members.


The next avenue is the effect of unhealthy life when you are befriending with ambivalent friend. By having “frenemies”, it will increase one’s blood pressure reading. Moreover, the risk of depression also become higher and you are less resistance to stress. It is common things when you are experience so much hurtful behaviors with the members of the group. Due to this, Holt-Lunstad found that people still befriend with ambivalent friends because the relationship has a memory which stand up a fade history. They tend to outcome the hurt feelings and stay not to give up with the unpredictable people.




On the other hand, it is okay for you to keep permanent the good rapport as long as you know how to manage yourself with the pain. The Brigham Young’s psychologist suggested you to learn how to avoid previously problematic subjects or situation. Furthermore, provide your frenemy’s motives a positive or at least neutral spin. At the end of this, you can work on keeping your end of the friendship bargain and start with controlling your own behavior and being the kind of friend you’d want others to be.